1.You’ve crawled under a crib at 2 a.m. searching for a pacifier like your life depended on it.
2. You have to make a rule about no poop conversations while on a date with your husband.
3. Happy hour has become the 60 minutes between your kids going to bed and you going to bed.
4. You have the ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors in the middle of the night, two bedrooms away, while your SO snores next to you.
5. You wear your baby for all of his naps of the day.
6. You believe coconut oil and breast milk can cure pretty much anything.
7. A 15-minute shower with the door locked feels like a day at the spa.
8. The Daylight Savings time change does not mean an extra hour of sleep, it just means an extra hour to get ready for church.
9. You never get to drink a cup of tea/coffee while it’s still warm.
10. Going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation.
11. You know the pain of stepping on a Lego … and may in fact, have one imbedded somewhere in your body right now.
12. You talk to yourself in the car as if your little one is there even when he’s not. “A choo choo train!” Oh…right. Kid’s at Grandma’s.
13. You use all the dishes out of the dishwasher before you get around to unloading it.
14. Your “me time” usually consists of daddy watching the baby for 30 minutes while you clean up the kitchen.
15. You spend your morning thinking about all the fun and productive things you’re going to do at nap time, but when it comes and you finally get to sit down, you almost fall asleep and get nothing done.
16. You’ve found yourself saying things like, “No, you can’t ride the dog.” and “Yes, you do have to keep your pants on in public.”
17. There’s a finger in your eye, your ear, or up your nose and it’s not yours.
18. You congratulate yourself for managing to take a shower that day until you realize you forgot to wash your hair.
19. You wish more stores had drive-thru windows so you wouldn’t have to unload the kids to go inside for just a couple things.
20. Someone is conversing with you while you are peeing and expects you to play hide and seek at the same time.
21. You stash baby wipes in every room and a burp cloth on every piece of furniture. And in every vehicle. And in every purse/bag. Of which you now carry 2 giant bags, containing the essential supplies.
22. You bought two identical baby blankets in the event that one got lost (which it did).
23. All the tasks you do are vocalized in a sing song way.
24. You step on something and it either starts playing music, lights up or says caterpillar power!
25. By the end of the day, brushing your teeth feels like a huge accomplishment.
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